A Year ago today Part I

FACEBOOK Status 8/10/12

A year ago today, Jeremy & I had our prayers answered! We were told we would be bringing Olivia home the next day on August 11th 2011. I remember feeling like it was a dream that couldn't be real. I remember how excited the doctor was to tell us and how happy the nurses were for our family of 3. While Jeremy & I were over the moon, we were also TERRIFIED! 

Olivia had ALWAYS been hooked up to monitors and was continuously checked on. She was being taken care of men and women who were professionals, did this daily. We were so afraid to do something wrong, that we would break her. 

The day we were told Olivia would be coming home the next day, Olivia had passed her car seat test. If you are unfamiliar with the car seat test, what the nurses do is they put the baby in their car seat while hooked up to the monitors. They check temp, breathing, etc. Olivia passed the first time. Duh! OF COURSE she did, she IS my child after all! ;) We knew if she passed she would be coming home by the weekend not the NEXT day!! 

While Olivia had been in the NICU our house was a disaster. We were never home, when we were it was to sleep and shower. Our house was just an after thought. So that night before we had a LOT of work to do. We washed all of Olivias clothes, bedding, towels, etc. We set up her room. We set up the bassinet in our room. We grocery shopped and stocked the fridge and house. It was SUCH a whirlwind!!

I remember when we went to bed thinking "this will be my last night of sleep." I thought about it all night, as I laid in bed, 'til 4am...

Since I couldn't sleep I decided to write Olivia a letter, a letter I will share with you!

Our little lady bug,

I can't believe tomorrow is the day our dream is coming true and we get to walk out of those double doors as a family of 3. Every morning and night when I have time to reflect on my thoughts I have thought, dreamt, and prayed for this day. Every time I have ever thought about tomorrow I cry, but today I am not crying. I am just so beyond happy. As happy as I am to bring you home, I am also SO scared!

I thought tonight I would sleep like a baby, but I can't sleep. I keep going into your room making sure we have everything we need. I keep going downstairs and checking your diaper bag and the car seat and your coming home outfit. I just want everything perfect for you! It is so exciting thinking about bringing you home tomorrow, I just hope we do everything right!

You have become such a "big girl" at 5lbs 11 oz,  I hope you continue to grow and gain. (Every ounce counts!) I hope you are happy. I hope you sleep well. I hope that we do everything right and make sure you have everything you need.  I hope you continue to learn. I hope you continue to be curious, stubborn and persistent. I hope you continue to prove people wrong. I hope you continue to be YOU. 

These hopes may seem silly, but all of these milestones you have reached in these past 79 days have made me SO unbelievable proud to be your mama. If someone were to ask me who my hero is, the answer is my daughter Olivia Adele.  YOU are my hero. There are no words to thank you for fighting to be with us. Daddy & I are complete because of you, you complete us and our family. 

One day you will grow up, you will become an adult, get married and one day have a baby of your own. On that day you will understand the way I feel for you. The love I have for you in my heart can not be put into words but I plan to spend the rest of my life SHOWING you my love, I hope you will always feel it. I am excited for our bond to grow even more. To hear your voice. For you to call me mama. To hear you laugh. To hear you say "I love you" back.

I am excited to start this new journey with you. Our first journey was in my belly, Our second was the NICU and now our journey will begin at HOME!