I remember before Jeremy & I were even married EVERYONE asked us all the time WHEN we would have a baby. Once we decided to get pregnant (and did) we figured the "heat" would be off of us but ohhhhhh no, we started getting asked about baby #2 before baby #1 was EVEN here!
Fast forward to NOW and we get asked MORE than EVER!
It always makes me feel uncomfortable to be asked so I figured I would give my "list" about why right NOW is not the right time for me to get pregnant/ add another life to our family...
Jeremy is a workaholic, he works 15+ hours a day. Jeremy has always been a hard worker but right now work is CRAZY for him.
I don't want to add any more stress to Jeremy's life or mine. When I was pregnant with Olivia he worked less hours so he was able to have more time to help me around the house and when I was sick at the beginning.
When I was pregnant with Olivia I was sick for the first 12-15 weeks, with Jeremy working SO much and not having any family around who would help me with Olivia?
We are currently house hunting. I don't want to be house hunting/moving/decorating while pregnant. TALK about stress!
I would PREFER Olivia to be potty trained or close to being potty trained. Dealing with 2 babies in diapers I feel would be stressful, especially since I would be home alone/running errands alone most of the time.
Now for the SELFISH reasons...
I LOVE myself a glass of moscato or my new fave Limearita!
It is football (tailgate) season! Indulging in a game day hotdog is SO yummy! I would miss those!
TOO much Starbucks, Sushi, feta, and Jimmy Johns are my JAM! Mmmmmm! DO I want to give that up? Not yet...
I LOVE being able to spoil Olivia. Right now I know I can buy her whatever I want, do I want to share that with another baby? Not yet...
Mama "guilt." I don't want to feel guilty when I can't play and be "fun" when I have morning sickness. I'm also not ready to share my time that I give to Olivia with another baby. Not yet...
Mama "guilt." I don't want to feel guilty when I can't play and be "fun" when I have morning sickness. I'm also not ready to share my time that I give to Olivia with another baby. Not yet...
Jeremy and I want to plan an "adult" trip to vegas or somewhere else for a weekend! No drinking on an adult trip? Not yet...
Before Olivia we had said we wanted 2-3 kids. Right now we are SO happy with Olivia, we feel SO blessed! If I were to become pregnant again, Jeremy and I would be SO unbelievably happy. Even with the above reasons, I could make sacrifices, I did it before and I WOULD do it again.
Along with the above reasons there is also the "IF we have another baby." IF we choose to have another baby, we would be doing it for US. This is OUR family. Whether we feel pressure or not, in the end we plan to do what is right for OUR family. We love Olivia SO much and know that we have more love to share with another baby. Are we scared to have another baby? YES! Are we afraid to have another preemie? YES! I do believe everything happens for a reason and I do believe in timing. I know when the time is right, that it will happen.
I just know right NOW, it isn't the right time.
Not yet...
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12 comments:
I know exactly how you feel. We get asked all the time when we are going to have another baby. And I know the time isnt right. Especially since I feel our daughter needs more mommy and daddy than a new sibling at the moment.
You are doing what is right for your family, and only you as a mom would know. Good for you not giving in to the pressure.
By the way Im a new follower and your daughter is adorable.
I know how you feel! Everyone asks me ALL the time, "when are you guys going to have babies?! You've been married for a year now!" Even before the year mark... still, ALL THE TIME! People love preggers and babies! Haha! Love your reasons!
xo
Girl- great post!! You need to do what is right for you and J. Your reasons to wait sound great to me- I had many of the same reasons for waiting. And I'm so glad I did. We got a lot of special time with Reagan before we got pregnant again. :) Proud of you!!
I get it from my family ALL the time...and I LOVE being able to have one on one time w. Breanna...and I LOVE spoiling her!
I can definitely relate and wrote a similar post last week or so :)
I honestly don't think you have to have any reason other than you don't want to have another baby right now. Simple! If at any point the urge to have a baby becomes intense, go for it, until then I wouldn't push it either :) I think I would be tempted to tell people you were done and only wanted one child just to see them balk haha. At least then they'd stop bothering you about when you're going to get pregnant again, if you do ;)
Thank you for this post, people ask me when Chris and I are going to have babies ALL the time and we are not even married yet!!! I'd say we've been getting asked that for 2+years. Now that the wedding is less than a month away family/friends/coworkers are asking even more. I think people need to respect that everyones timing/reasons are different, and I must say mine are A)Not married yet B) I would miss my evening wine/beer C)We don't want a raise a kid in this neighborhood..... I could go on. Anyway, Props to you and your hubby! (yes I said props.. haha)
californiagrownblog.blogspot.com
All perfectly good reasons to wait :) I will tell you though that if you wait until you're ready- you will never be ready, as there are always good reasons to wait. I was surpised at how much energy I have with the 2nd pregnancy that I don't remember having with our first- I think your body just adjusts. And I still drink Starbucks (almost every day) and eat hot dogs and even have sandwich once in a while (gasp!) lol. We also wanted E potty trained before #2 but our ped told us then #2 comes along they almost always revert in some way, so we gave up- ha! But be selfish- we all need that once in a while as mommies!!
I wasn't "ready" until my daughter was 2 and potty trained. Now I just wish my new baby would hurry up!
Girl, I can't even decide if I'm ready for #1, Bless you for thinking about #2!
I loved this post so much I included it in my biweekly series, Lots of Link Love. I hope you'll come check it out, and maybe even share with your readers!
http://www.stresscasey.blogspot.com/2012/09/lots-of-link-love_20.html
XOXO
Casey
Your reasons are all legit and I feel that I'd be the same way! We are so excited about adding to our family eventually, but I don't know if I could pop 'em out one right after another like some people do. That's totally fine if it's their choice, but things like being able to spoil that first one a little longer, and potty training.... whew, I'd need a break and some wine too ;)
I have always been shocked about how nosy people get when you are having kids and pregnant, like how they can ask you how much weight you've gained. If you're not supposed to asked that question when you are not preggo, why is it okay when you are? Same for when you're having another baby. Just say, "oh we are plenty blessed with what we have right now" and hope they move on! lol or tell them some gross baby poop story and hope they take the hint :) ps I went through the same thing and one day just decided I wanted another. When it's the right time for you, it's the right time!
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