Today Ava turns 29 weeks old, one week shy of 7 months! I found this post in my drafts:
"I'm 8 weeks in and will have to start pumping when I go back to work and am so stressed out just thinking about it! Will I make enough? Will she still want to nurse? My goal is to
"I'm 8 weeks in and will have to start pumping when I go back to work and am so stressed out just thinking about it! Will I make enough? Will she still want to nurse? My goal is to
Make it to at least 6m. With Olivia we couldn't breastfeed so I pumped and after 4m my supply was so low it wasn't worth pumping anymore. (The time spent pumping just wasn't worth the amount I was getting) I felt awful having to give my baby formula but now I know that formula isn't bad. It is very empowering knowing that the milk your body produces is what helps your baby grow!"
The day after Ava turned 6 months she had her first bottle made with formula. I was not the one who gave it to her, one of my best friends watched her for me while Liv and I were at a wedding. Ava sucked that formula bottle down and had no tummy troubles and was still her happy little self!
For some reason I had some guilt about giving her formula, even though it didn't bother her and she was still happy.
Around the time Ava turned 5 months, my body started slowing down how I had been producing. I was SO SO heart broken! Luckily, I had started pumping pretty early on to grow my freezer supply so when I pumped a little short at work, I knew we could pull from that supply. At the most, I had stock piled about 300 oz. It was made with love and devotion! Pumping is no fun task, let me tell you! For you mamas that exclusively pump, I applaud you!
The week Ava turned 6 months, I decided to visit my trusty stock piled deep freezer, and what I saw brought me to tears. I will never, ever shake that feeling. I felt sick to my stomach. That stock pile that once filled half my freezer was no more. I was down to maybe 50 oz! I couldn't believe it. Ava had been taking 4 6oz bottles while I would be at work, and what I didn't realize was Jeremy had been taking out 1-2 feedings almost every day. Within just one month my freezer supply dwindled like that! POOF!
Jeremy was SO supportive! He understood my tears and he was so heartfelt with telling me how proud he was of me. All of the sleepless nights to feed our daughter, all of the lonely lunch breaks at my desk so I could take breaks through out the day to pump. I was the reason she was so big and strong. I was the reason she had a full belly and smiles every day. All the delicious rolls all over her body, I created those. Even with his hugs, kisses and sweet words, I felt heart broken. I wasn't ready to stop nursing.
We made a deal. He told me I needed to get my life back. I needed my lunch breaks back. He wanted to start supplementing with formula for during the day while I was at work and for some late night feedings so that I could start catching back up on sleep. He told me it was my decision, but my body had already made the decision for me. I was exhausted from constantly pumping/nursing and my body wasn't producing like it had been. I took Jeremy up on his deal and I bought a can of formula.
So here we are, we have been supplementing with formula for 3 weeks. she gets 3 bottles a day of formula and the rest of the time I nurse or give her milk that I have pumped. I now pump at least once a day at work. I don't stress myself out about how many ounces I make and I still get to nurse her when I am home! While I am SO SO proud to have made it to 6 months of EXCLUSIVELY giving Ava breast milk, I am not ready to give it up entirely. Giving her formula has definitely relieved some stress and she loves it. Her little happy self has not changed at all.
Yesterday I got to enjoy my lunch break. I got to come home, eat my lunch in the comfort of my own home and roll around on the floor with my favorite 6 month old in the world! (We missed Liv, she was at preschool!) It was the best lunch break EVER! :)
For some reason I had some guilt about giving her formula, even though it didn't bother her and she was still happy.
Around the time Ava turned 5 months, my body started slowing down how I had been producing. I was SO SO heart broken! Luckily, I had started pumping pretty early on to grow my freezer supply so when I pumped a little short at work, I knew we could pull from that supply. At the most, I had stock piled about 300 oz. It was made with love and devotion! Pumping is no fun task, let me tell you! For you mamas that exclusively pump, I applaud you!
The week Ava turned 6 months, I decided to visit my trusty stock piled deep freezer, and what I saw brought me to tears. I will never, ever shake that feeling. I felt sick to my stomach. That stock pile that once filled half my freezer was no more. I was down to maybe 50 oz! I couldn't believe it. Ava had been taking 4 6oz bottles while I would be at work, and what I didn't realize was Jeremy had been taking out 1-2 feedings almost every day. Within just one month my freezer supply dwindled like that! POOF!
Jeremy was SO supportive! He understood my tears and he was so heartfelt with telling me how proud he was of me. All of the sleepless nights to feed our daughter, all of the lonely lunch breaks at my desk so I could take breaks through out the day to pump. I was the reason she was so big and strong. I was the reason she had a full belly and smiles every day. All the delicious rolls all over her body, I created those. Even with his hugs, kisses and sweet words, I felt heart broken. I wasn't ready to stop nursing.
We made a deal. He told me I needed to get my life back. I needed my lunch breaks back. He wanted to start supplementing with formula for during the day while I was at work and for some late night feedings so that I could start catching back up on sleep. He told me it was my decision, but my body had already made the decision for me. I was exhausted from constantly pumping/nursing and my body wasn't producing like it had been. I took Jeremy up on his deal and I bought a can of formula.
So here we are, we have been supplementing with formula for 3 weeks. she gets 3 bottles a day of formula and the rest of the time I nurse or give her milk that I have pumped. I now pump at least once a day at work. I don't stress myself out about how many ounces I make and I still get to nurse her when I am home! While I am SO SO proud to have made it to 6 months of EXCLUSIVELY giving Ava breast milk, I am not ready to give it up entirely. Giving her formula has definitely relieved some stress and she loves it. Her little happy self has not changed at all.
Yesterday I got to enjoy my lunch break. I got to come home, eat my lunch in the comfort of my own home and roll around on the floor with my favorite 6 month old in the world! (We missed Liv, she was at preschool!) It was the best lunch break EVER! :)
Here is my post about my experience pumping this time around
*This post is my opinion on nursing/pumping. Please do not post any hateful comments. I am not talking negatively about formula fed babies. Olivia was a formula fed baby. I am choosing to speak on this topic as a mother who had wanted to nurse but couldn't. I want other moms to know it is OKAY to feed your baby however YOU feel comfortable. I also want moms to know that every experience is different and it is OKAY to change your mind/opinion or change what you feel is "Best." *
3 comments:
I just wanted to comment and let you know that this post showing up yesterday was EXACTLY what I needed to read. Although I'm only at the 4 month mark, I'm already feeling that drain of pumping. In order for me to make enough for her to have while away from me, I have to pump before I leave for work, 3 times at work and sometimes once at time too. I also nurse her 2-3 times a day. I want so badly to make it two more months, and knowing that I wasn't the only one that struggled and got tired, makes me realize two more months isn't that long.
Thank you!
I think it's great that you are being realistic about the situation and not hard on yourself! You did an amazing job nursing and pumping for your little one, and it's okay if you have to supplement!
thanks for sharing your experience! Ava sure is a cutie!
Post a Comment