If you are a pumping mom like me, you probably find yourself saying too often "I hate pumping" or something along the lines of "I can't wait until I don't have to pump any more!"
I was one of those moms up until today. I pump at least 3 times a day M-F at work and sometimes before work if Ava doesn't wake up to eat before I leave. On the weekends I hardly pump unless I am too full and will nurse instead, obviously my and Ava's preference.
When I pump at work I usually look through pictures or watch videos of the girls while I try to "drown out" the sound of my pump. My employer tried to help with a less then ideal situation by making a "lactation room" that has privacy and a comfortable chair. I made sure before returning back to work that they understood the importance of my now "routine" and that I needed to pump three times a day (for now) to keep up my supply needs for Ava. Most days it can be difficult to "slip away" since my job keeps me very busy, but they have been more then willing to accomodate me, which I greatly appreciate.
Now back to why I have changed my tune about pumping. Most mothers set a nursing/pumping goal for them selves... One month, six months, one year, etc. My first goal was 3 months, I reached that goal and was SO proud of myself! I know nursing should be "natural" but some days were definitely more tough then others! Now I am taking it month by month and week by week. Every mother is different and should do what feels best for them and baby.
Today as I sat down for another dreaded session with my pump I started to think, I can't wait for the day I don't have to do this anymore! Then as I looked at pictures of my 14 week daughter I started realizing how quickly these past 3 months have gone and before I know it she will be 3, like my oldest Olivia!
I no longer "wish away" my pumping days. Yes, pumping sucks (no pun intended) but it is also truly a miracle I can provide this kind of nutrition for my daughter. When Liv was in the NICU I had wanted to nurse SO SO badly. By the time I could try to nurse her, my supply was barely anything. I didn't know enough about pumping and wasn't well educated on the topic. With the stress of being a NICU parent I barely ate and tried to drink lots of water but in reality I wasn't giving my body enough nutrition which then led to not being able to pump enough milk. Most sessions seemed like a "waste" and I felt like it wasn't worth the effort for as little as I got. By the time Olivia had come home, I had pretty much packed away all of my pumping supplies and had given up. I had no idea that if I had stuck with it MAYBE I could have gotten my supply up and could have tried nursing her at home. Olivia received my milk for 4 months, luckily at the beginning my supply was pretty good that we were able to feed her the milk that we had put in our deep freezer.
This time around I have educated myself more and surrounded myself with a great support system. I have friends who currently pump/nurse and friends who previously did. I have family who know how important my goals are. I have a husband who most night will wash all of the bottles and pumping parts for me knowing how much I hate it but does it because he wants to help and support me.
I am not saying formula is bad, clearly it is not. Liv used it from 4 months until we were allowed to wean her around 14-15 months. We also added it to her breast milk to give her more calories. I don't believe that she would have been less "sick" during cold season, but again, I do not know and can't go back to find out. At the time I did what was best for her. Now this time I am doing what I feel is best for Ava.
Ava is SUCH a happy baby. You can just look at her and she smiles from ear to ear. I didn't think I would enjoy nursing her, but I seriously love it. I love that she needs me in this way. If you haven't nursed you may not understand. While pumping is not ideal, I do it because she will only "need" me for so long. With formula, a baby can get that from anyone, but my "liquid gold" THAT she can ONLY get from me! I can't say when I plan to wean or how long I plan to do it for, but for now I plan to just take it week by week, day by day.
One day I will pack away that pump and all of its parts again, but for now I am not wishing these days away. not yet.
*This post is my opinion on nursing/pumping. Please do not post any hateful comments. I am not talking negatively about formula fed babies. Olivia was a formula fed baby. I am choosing to speak on this topic as a mother who had wanted to nurse but couldn't. I want other moms to know it is OKAY to feed your baby however YOU feel comfortable. I also want moms to know that every experience is different and it is OKAY to change your mind/opinion or change what you feel is "Best." *
I no longer "wish away" my pumping days. Yes, pumping sucks (no pun intended) but it is also truly a miracle I can provide this kind of nutrition for my daughter. When Liv was in the NICU I had wanted to nurse SO SO badly. By the time I could try to nurse her, my supply was barely anything. I didn't know enough about pumping and wasn't well educated on the topic. With the stress of being a NICU parent I barely ate and tried to drink lots of water but in reality I wasn't giving my body enough nutrition which then led to not being able to pump enough milk. Most sessions seemed like a "waste" and I felt like it wasn't worth the effort for as little as I got. By the time Olivia had come home, I had pretty much packed away all of my pumping supplies and had given up. I had no idea that if I had stuck with it MAYBE I could have gotten my supply up and could have tried nursing her at home. Olivia received my milk for 4 months, luckily at the beginning my supply was pretty good that we were able to feed her the milk that we had put in our deep freezer.
This time around I have educated myself more and surrounded myself with a great support system. I have friends who currently pump/nurse and friends who previously did. I have family who know how important my goals are. I have a husband who most night will wash all of the bottles and pumping parts for me knowing how much I hate it but does it because he wants to help and support me.
I am not saying formula is bad, clearly it is not. Liv used it from 4 months until we were allowed to wean her around 14-15 months. We also added it to her breast milk to give her more calories. I don't believe that she would have been less "sick" during cold season, but again, I do not know and can't go back to find out. At the time I did what was best for her. Now this time I am doing what I feel is best for Ava.
Ava is SUCH a happy baby. You can just look at her and she smiles from ear to ear. I didn't think I would enjoy nursing her, but I seriously love it. I love that she needs me in this way. If you haven't nursed you may not understand. While pumping is not ideal, I do it because she will only "need" me for so long. With formula, a baby can get that from anyone, but my "liquid gold" THAT she can ONLY get from me! I can't say when I plan to wean or how long I plan to do it for, but for now I plan to just take it week by week, day by day.
One day I will pack away that pump and all of its parts again, but for now I am not wishing these days away. not yet.
*This post is my opinion on nursing/pumping. Please do not post any hateful comments. I am not talking negatively about formula fed babies. Olivia was a formula fed baby. I am choosing to speak on this topic as a mother who had wanted to nurse but couldn't. I want other moms to know it is OKAY to feed your baby however YOU feel comfortable. I also want moms to know that every experience is different and it is OKAY to change your mind/opinion or change what you feel is "Best." *
4 comments:
Such a great post! I too am a working mama that has to pump 3 times a day at work and once before bed. It's exhausting but I do feel so much pride that I was able to do that for my daughter and now for my son. It's so special. And on the days I want to light my pump on fire and throw it in a ditch I just remember that this is probably our last baby and I need to savor every moment of caring for him while he's this little:)
You're doing a great job! Keep it up mama:)
As an exclusive pumper for 11 months I can totally relate! I hated it with a passion but pushed myself to make it to a year with the help of my frozen stash. Keep it up mama!!
I too have gone through the days of multiple pumpings while working full time. It is challenging, but very rewarding. Way to stick with it and to look at the positive side of things. Unfortunately, my particular career is exempt from all federal pumping laws and without a supportive administrative staff I may not be able to do the same for our youngest (9 week) child as I did for our older 2. :0(
You go, mama!
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